The Trick or Treat Affair  a Mouth of Babes story
by Uncle Charlie
Summary: Written by Georgiamagnolia.  Irina and Alex try to decide what the gradnfather should dress as for Halloween - princes or superheroes.  Sadly, Poppy's knees ain't what they used to be...


Title: The Trick or Treat Affair  
Author: Georgiamagnolia  
Summary: Irina and Alex try to decide what their grandfathers will wear to go trick or treating A Mouth of Babes story  
Fandom: Man From UNCLE  
Characters/Pairing (portrayed by): Napoleon/Illya  
Rating: G  
Warnings: None  
Genre: General  
Permission to archive to WWOMB: Y  
Acknowledgments/Notes: This story was written in my universe and GM wanted me to post it wherever I saw fit – which is everywhere – duh! If you like it, she gets the credit!  
Disclaimer: MFU does not belong to me and no money made with this.

"Irina, honey, why are you crying so?"

"It's the little mermaid," Irina dropped the book on her bed and threw herself into Genève's arms. "She can't tell the prince that she loves him and so he isn't going to marry her and she'll die if he marries someone else." Irina continued to cry softly into Genève's shoulder.

Genève patted the little girl's back and stroked her hair. "It's okay, Reenie, it's just a story, a fairy tale.'

"But she won't be anything but sea foam and the mean old sea hag told her that she has no soul and so she will disappear forever."

"Oh, sweetie, she won't ever disappear, not as long as you read her story." Genève reached over to the bedside table and pulled a tissue from the box and gave it to Irina to dry her eyes. "How about if we write a new ending to the story, a happier ending?"

"I'd like that," Irina sniffed.

"Well good. Now, let's go get a notebook and a pencil, ok?"

"Ok." Irina smiled at her with red rimmed eyes and a red nose.

'_If only tricking Alex into studying math was so easy,'_ she thought as she closed the book of fairy tales and followed Irina into the hall.

Napoleon walked into the controlled chaos of the kitchen and was once again amazed at how easily Genève had slipped into the household. She was at the stove stirring something while Inessa sat out of the way kapowing blocks and Peter beat a wooden spoon on a plastic dish and chanted 'oodle oodle'. Alex sat at the table with a magazine and Irina was next to him with a notebook.

"They're going to be superheroes with me so we can be the Justice League," Alex said.

"No, they are going to be handsome princes to fight over the hand of the pretty mermaid princess," Irina replied.

Without turning around Genève said from the stove, "Perhaps you should ask them if they want to dress up at all."

Irina gasped, "Of course they will! It's a Halloween party!"

Napoleon suspected he knew who his grandchildren were arguing about but before he could confirm, his partner walked in behind him.

"Who are you planning to have as a prince?" Illya asked Irina.

"You of course, Poppy, and Grampy too."

"It would seem that our costumes for the party are being planned, Illya."

"Argued about, more like," Genève said, turning from the stove and smiling. "Time to wash up, take your things to your rooms and help the twins wash up, too, right?"

"Yes, Jenny."

"Ok."

And in a flurry of blocks and a continuing chorus of 'oodles', the four children cleared the kitchen in record time, leaving quiet in their wake.

"From Peter's serenade, I would guess we are having noodles for dinner?" Illya asked.

"Beef Stroganoff, actually, but only because hamburger stroganoff sounds less classy." Genève went to the cupboard and pulled out dishes and moved them to the table, then took a tray from another cupboard and started setting it with silver and a plate.

"Lisle isn't feeling any better?" Napoleon asked, taking the rest of the silverware and starting to set the table.

"No, she's been resting all afternoon, I thought she'd rather have a tray than try moving around too much. And I can do that you know."

"I know, but I like to be helpful. I'm a helpful person." Napoleon smiled when Genève tried to glare. She gave up and smiled back.

Illya snorted and checked the oven where he knew there were rolls baking. "Golden brown, ready to come out." He got a pair of oven mitts and took the rolls from the oven, then checked the flame under the vegetables, turning it down a bit.

"You are all so domestic in here, like a team, the three of you," Leon said when he entered the kitchen. "Careful or Lisle might decide to let you do this permanently."

"Leon, you know she hates sitting still, it'll never fly," Genève said. "Do you want me to fix a plate for you as well so you can have dinner with Lisle?"

"She insists that she isn't hungry. I'll take the tray in and try to get her to eat some, we'll share."

The children came parading back in and mobbed their father.

"Daddy, wouldn't you rather be a handsome prince than a superhero?" Irina asked.

Before Leon could answer his eldest son said "Dad's going to be in the Justice League with me."

Peter continued to comment "oodle" and Inessa eyed her pile of blocks while her father bent down to ruffle her hair.

"What does your mother say?" Leon asked.

"Mommy just says she'll go to the party as a beach ball. Why does she say that?" Irina said.

"Perhaps this is a discussion that can wait until after dinner?" Illya asked, picking up Peter and depositing him in a high chair as Genève did the same with Inessa.

"But…" Irina was stopped by a look from Leon.

"I'm going to see if I can get your mother to eat some dinner. You behave yourselves and after dinner you both," Leon looked at Alex, "may present your arguments for why you want any of us to dress for your party. And remember, a good argument is about facts, not emotions."

Alex and Irina exchanged a look, understanding that their father wanted to teach them something and silently deciding between them that they could thwart this surreptitious schooling if they put their minds to it.

"See here Grampy, this is the Batman, he's really smart and has lots of useful tools and he wears a cape." Alex was sitting between his grandfathers on the couch with a comic book. "And this is Superman, he's from another planet and our sun makes him strong and gives him powers and he wears a cape, too."

"Looks like very little has changed," Illya commented.

Alex looked at his other grandfather with a puzzled look.

"Comic books have been around for a rather long time, young man," Illya told his grandson.

"I was always partial to Aquaman, myself," Napoleon said.

"But he's always so grumpy," Alex turned back to his Grampy.

"Well, Alex, imagine you have been taken from everything you know and made to hang around with a bunch of people you don't know and you're different from all of them. Aquaman had plenty of reasons to be a little unhappy at first. He kind of grows on you after a while."

Illya gave his partner a look over the turned head of their grandson, then changing to a completely bland expression as Alex looked back to him.

"The Justice League fights for good, don't you want to be on the team?"

"But I need a handsome prince, Alex, don't be a meany-head and steal them both!" Irina stood in the door of the livingroom with one hand on her hip and in her other hand she had the notebook she had been writing in before dinner.

"What have you got there, my sweet?" Napoleon asked and held out a hand to Irina who took it as an invitation to climb up into his lap.

"I'm fixing the mermaid story so it won't make me cry anymore," Irina said as she opened her notebook. "And see this, Grampy? Jenny says that if Mommy says it's ok, she'll help me make my mermaid princess costume. She drew pictures and everything. Won't I be pretty in a dress like that? If Mommy says we can." She held up the notebook to show her Grampy the sketches that Genève had made.

"So your mermaid is a princess?"

"Of course, her daddy is the king of the undersea world."

"Aquaman is the king of the sea." Alex said.

"Aquaman can be the king of your sea, meany-head."

"Now, no name calling. There are plenty of seas to go around," Genève said as she entered the room.

"And plenty of Halloween costumes as well, Irina," Napoleon told her. "Rather than a prince, how about if we convince your Poppy to be a sea king and that way he can be handsome for you and super for your brother?"

"Oh Grampy, he'll be a superhero of the sea!" Irina clapped her hands.

"You'll have to dress in green and orange, Poppy," Alex said.

"I think not, there will be no superhero leotards in this house that fit any person over the age of twelve," Illya frowned.

"Come now, partner, don't you want to be king for a day?"

"Not even one if it includes clothes that involve shimmying, strangling or slickening to get into. I am too old for leotards and that is my final word on it." He took the notebook that Napoleon handed over to him and studied the sketches that Genève had made.

"Maybe you're right, Grampy," Alex whispered. "Poppy has the Aquaman attitude, he will be a good sea king."

"I can hear you, you know," the grandfather in question whispered.

"He does have that surliness down pat, doesn't he?" Napoleon grinned.

"Alex," Genève said, "don't most of your superheroes have cover stories, other names they go by in the real world?"

"Yes. Superman is Clark Kent and the Batman is really Bruce Wayne."

"So there must be someone that your Aquaman could be, right?"

"His real name is Arthur something, I guess that Poppy could be him."

"Always ready to transform into a hero at any moment," Napoleon continued to smile. "What about that, Irina, a sea king in disguise. Would that be acceptable?"

Irina nodded and smiled happily.

"Alex, is that agreeable to you?" Illya asked.

"I suppose that means that Grampy will want to be in disguise, too?" Alex sounded a little dubious.

"How about this, Alex, I'll be Bruce Wayne and maybe I can come up with some gadgets like he has and I'll carry them around."

"It will be perfect for your grandfather, Bruce Wayne is an irresponsible playboy, a disguise your Grampy knows well," Illya leaned over to whisper to Alex who grinned because his Poppy did, then looked puzzled.

"I prefer irrepressible, thank you," Napoleon gave his partner a smug look.

"What does ir-press-ble mean?" Irina asked.

"We'll look it up in the dictionary tomorrow, Reenie, right now it's time to get into pyjamas," Genève said.

"Oh, do we have to?"

"Just another minute?"

"No, we have a big day tomorrow, you're both going to help me start making costumes for you, and if you think I am going to rip seams and sew capes all by myself, you have another think coming."

Irina jumped up and clapped. "Mommy said we could?"

"Yes, she did. So you need to get some rest so we can be extra creative tomorrow."

Both children gave hugs to their grandfathers and took off for their rooms.

"Are you going to need some material to make these costumes?" Napoleon asked when the children had left.

"I don't think so. Lis wanted me to help her clean out her closet a few weeks ago and when she did she gave me a whole bunch of dresses that she says she'll never wear again. I put them in my closet thinking she might want them back after the baby is born. I won't have any parties to wear them to so I asked her if I could take a few of them apart for the material to make a princess dress for Irina. She said it was fine, so that is what we will do tomorrow. And it will be a good way to teach the kids about inches and yards and measuring." she shrugged. "The whole stealth teaching thing is rubbing off on me now."

"I noticed," Illya held up the notebook Irina had left behind. "This was a good way to slip in some language arts lessons, writing a story."

"Well, she was very upset about the little mermaid dying at the end of the story, so she's rewriting a happy ending."

"These sketches are very good, you have a good eye for perspective, and you captured Irina's expression very well in this sketch."

"Thank you," she ducked her head to try to hide the blush she knew was obvious on her milk white skin.

"And what princess has she convinced you to be for Halloween?" Napoleon asked.

"I'm not a princess and I haven't let her convince me of anything, yet."

"Yet being the important word there, missy," Leon said as he entered the room.

Genève stood up from the chair, "Are the twins…"

"I put them down, they fell asleep in their mother's arms, and then their mother finally fell asleep as well, so I tucked them all in."

"Is she feeling any better?" Illya asked.

"She's not having any contractions, but she is feeling pretty low. I'm going to stop in Medical in the morning and see if I can get her an appointment, she isn't scheduled for one until next week but she worries me."

"Good idea, let me know if you want me to send a car for her, maybe they will have an opening tomorrow," Napoleon said.

"Thanks, chief. I'll let you know."

"Mommy, Jenny has been locked in there a really long time."

Lisle looked up from the magazine she wasn't really reading to see Irina standing in her doorway. He daughter was dressed in a Genève Original, all pearly shades of pinks and blues and greens. She thought the mix sounded horrible when they had first described it but instead of terrible, it was like the inside of an abalone shell, beautiful and one of a kind. Lisle opened her arms and her daughter came to her for a hug. "Don't worry, sweetheart, us older girls take a lot longer to get ready is all, ok?"

"Ok."

"Why don't you give me a pull and I will see if I can help her out."

Irina held out her hands and pulled as her mother got out of the chair. Lisle smiled, Irina wasn't really strong enough to help her so it was a good thing she didn't actually need assistance to rise. It made Irina feel helpful, so Lisle always made sure to let her.

Lisle made her way to the bathroom door and tapped softly. "Genève, honey, do you need some help?"

The door opened a crack. "I'm sorry did you need in? I didn't mean to take so long."

"No, Reenie was getting worried. She hasn't reached the age yet where hours are needed for getting ready. Well, not as many hours as we older type of girls need. So what did you finally decide to be for the party?"

The door opened wider and Lisle gasped. Genève was dressed all in soft greens and shades of pale blue and white, her hair was brushed until it shone and hung down her back like a fall of white frothing water. She had fashioned several tiny braids in it and tied small perfect sea shells into the braids.

"Genève, you look amazing. But what are you?"

"I'm, well, I'm sea foam."

Lisle put her arms around the girl, a little awkwardly with her pregnant belly, and hugged her hard.

"Daddy, is this on right?" Alex fidgeted with the material

"Yes, little man, your cape is just like it's supposed to be." Leon grinned at his son and helped him settle it in place.

"It's a lot heavier than I thought it would be."

"Perhaps that's why the superheroes only wear them when they have to."

"Maybe."

Napoleon smoothed the vest of his second best tuxedo and slid into his jacket, checking that the gadgets he had promised his eldest grandson were on discreet display. He smiled as he thought about the fact that they all were working models borrowed from his partner's section at work. He adjusted the tissue paper flower at his lapel, made just for tonight and looking just like the Bat Signal, it made him grin.

"Remind me again why we agreed to this?"

"It was this or a leotard in orange and green."

"Oh, hell no, this I will put up with. But these buttons are the very devil." Illya continued to try his best to get the shirt buttons in the shape of seashells through the buttonholes on his shirt. Irina had been very happy to show off her handiwork and he hadn't had the heart to turn down her request that he wear the modified shirt.

"Just leave the buttons undone on the shirt, _Amante_, Aquaman is all about the chest."

"This is a _children's_ party, blockhead."

"Only until they leave to beg for treats." Napoleon waggled his brows at his partner.

"I'll have you begging..."

"One does hope, _Amante_. After all, no one is too old for treats."


End file.
